Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Looking Back

December 26 was the date reflected on the cover of my first diary and the reminder that I placed there was 'Procrastination is the thief of time'.
My very first entry was new year day and the last entry was 10th May four years on, which happened to be Vesak Day.
I recorded the wonderful time that I had with my friends, the ups and downs, the happy and the sad.
I was then twenty years of age, third year into my teaching career. The diary recorded my relationships with my friends and colleagues. Awakened was my longing for romance and love.

My twenty-first birthday was celebrated at a government bungalow in Labrador off Pasir Panjang, surrounded by my family, good friends and colleagues.I realised that I was deeply and hopelessly in love after all the infatuations. However, it was doomed from the start as the object of my affection had promised to marry somebody else.
The following year was a year of tremendous heartaches but I promised myself to be emotionally strong and let time help me to recover from that doomed relationship.
Three years on, my present husband who was also my colleague dated me to a show, Tora, Tora, Tora, a Japanese war film.What a romantic fellow!
My second diary began on 13th May and covered the next seven and a half years.
I was engaged at a party again at the same bungalow at Labrador Park. That eventful day saw my father storming out of my engagement, thinking that my fiance was just not good enough for me, his beloved daughter.
My best friend Susan gave birth to a pair of twin girls the year after and gradually all my good friends settled down to begin another phase of their lives.
I too settled down and it was a year of adjustment to a new phase of married life, mundane and uneventful for most of the time.
Restless me joined Friends of the Library, a group of people who love to read and exchange ideas.
Two years later, we moved from a cosy two-room flat to a spacious four-room one.
My ectopic pregnancy almost ended my life but I guess God has other plans for me. I have not learnt enough yet. The near death experience taught me to appreciate the simple things in life and the sight of sunrise at Mount Faber was indeed exhilarating that year.Christmas Eve had me baptised at Faith Methodist Church.
The next diary covered one year of my life and the book was coming apart as the pages were not well-bound.It was a year of calmness as I dedicated myself to be obedient to the Lord.
For forty days, I was sponsored by the Girl Guides Association to go to Japan on a Youth Fellowship programme. That was a recognition trip for the work that I had done to promote youth activities as a Brownie guider as well as the Chairman of Friends of the Library.I had not expected any rewards for the enjoyable and meaningful work that I did but God always has His ways.
The next diary covered the next six years of my life.
Finally,Doctor Tsakok confirmed that I was pregnant! Lynn was born in January, bringing so much joy to the family after the long wait.It was on the second December that Lynn was badly scalded before she even turned two. Hubby was indeed stricken by regrets and guilt over the accident.
Two years later and we found ourselves in Western Europe, enjoying Rome, Florence, Venice, Vienna, Innsbruck, Selzburg, Copenhagen, Cologne, Odense, Rotterdam, Amsterdam, Kinderdyke, Paris, Versailles, England and Scotland.It sparked my interest in the Greek mythology and Roman history. I went on some English Proficiency courses and did both O and A levels English, scoring distinctions, B for Literature and A for GP.
Over one year of part time and six months of full time , I completed the course for the Diploma in English Studies.I enjoyed the Literature course and scored second upper in the examinations. That is also the year when I was transferred to serve in a prestigious school.
The next diary began in September in which I called out for the Lord to take away that despair that I felt.
My Dad's death was most painful.Entry for that year end was filled with bleakness and pain. However, confirmation of my second pregnancy with Sarah at the end of that year brought once again hope to me.
Sarah was the child born in April and she was that gift from God and my beloved Dad sent to give me hope once again.
Sister Soo who left for US returned to get married.
Our trip up to Cameron Highlands began a long friendship among the members of four families that last till today.
Sister came home to visit us with her new born child Jasmine just as Mum became senile and her condition worsened over the next three years till her demise. We took a trip to the States to visit Sister and her family as well as a good friend in Canada.
The last entry on 23 September reflected my realisation that I had turned forty eight and I gave thanks to the Lord for His goodness to me.

The next diary began on 20 November and ended 28 October ten years on.
Ms L, my principal passed away on 22nd December and as I attended the wake and the funeral,I found the colleagues who used to fawn on her and later left her nowhere in sight.
I assumed the Head of Department post, working under Ms K and the following year Mr L.
Four months of full- time leadership course inspired me to take up Open University to pursue my love for learning. I soon returned to church. A good friend who went up to Cameron Highlands with us passed away suddenly, while news of the demise of my good friend in Canada followed by my sister-in-law's saddened me.
I began to have strong feelings to retire.
2003 brought the SARS and 2004 Tsunami when so many innocent people died so suddenly. A bubbly colleague's succumb to liver cancer made me question what life is all about. Life is indeed fragile and unpredictable.
My hundred year old grandma too passed on, fortunately after she was reunited with the Lord. Hubby's sudden chest pain in the night scared us as we thought it might be a heart attack. Fortunately it was not.
Last year had me step down from Head of Department work and after having completed my six years of Open University, I had more time to exercise and read for pleasure and self development.
I was persuaded to continue working and put retirement on hold. However, a church friend's timely reminder to honour my promise to serve the Lord and Hubby's freak and near death accident convinced me that 2007 should be my last year working for the secular world. It is time to begin a new chapter when I can serve the Lord and others full time.

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