lovelife

The Scar

2011-10-20T23:50:00.000-07:00

It had been a great afternoon lunch with my friends to celebrate my promotion at work.
Isn’t that Mrs. Lee at the common corridor? She seemed to be waiting for me.

I remember the muffled sounds of argument coming from her unit some nights before and I wonder if she wants to confide her problems in me.

“Have you had lunch, Mrs.Ong? She held my hands gently. I have some news for you.”
There have been some accidents….. baby is scalded…. In hospital.”
I can’t make sense of what she is saying as I picked up certain terrifying words. Accident? my baby of nine months?

I can’t understand how I could still be standing there, looking at Mrs. Lee stupidly.

I finally made sense of what she was saying and hopped into a taxi that took me to the hospital where my baby was warded.

I could not get to see her until later. Hubby was looking miserable as he tried to embrace me.

How and what has happened? I wish I had not gone for that lunch to celebrate what success?

Days followed with afternoon and evening at the hospital, and tears flowed incessantly before we could finally fall exhausted after each visit. Even parents are not allowed to stay behind in the ward as it is a burnt ward and contacts were kept to the minimum to prevent any infection.

Baby was crying miserably but what could I do? We just continue to live from lunch to dinner visitations.

She survived that horrible accident with only a big ugly scar on the back of her bottom. Praise God it was not the face that had been scarred.

It was never to be forgotten, that terrible accident that scarred my baby.
Had it been so many years before? The poor child is now a grown up adult. The only thing that reminded me of her accident is the scar that is hidden from view but not from my memory. Thank and praise God for sparing us of worse consequences that would mar and destroy her future.

It is my birthday!

2011-10-03T22:38:00.000-07:00

Children look forward to their birthdays when their parents celebrate their birthdays with gifts and usually a birthday cake.
In my family of four, our birthdays stretched out over the four quarters of the year.For each of us, we go out as a family to have a meal and also usually end the occasion with a birthday cake.
My birthday falls over a period when we are quite busy with school examinations etc.I remember years when my birthday was not celebrated and in one particular year, I was particularly disappointed when family seemed too busy to even remember it. However, good friends reminded me to remain cheerful.
This year, I was particularly touched when friends and family members remember.
I received sms from my two sisters in law all the way in India, as well as from those nearer home.
The two girls have been busy all week with their work but in the morning, they gave me a birthday kiss on the cheeks and arranged for a dinner in the evening somewhere in town.
It is wonderful to be loved and appreciated.I remember to be grateful and thank God for His abundant blessings.

My Dad

2011-09-28T18:35:00.000-07:00

I remember my father as a very devoted son to his parents and a caring brother to his siblings. He likes to chat with our friends when they visit and both my sister Soo’s and my friends enjoy talking to him.
I remember my father’s devotion to his daughters especially when I was young and always demanded to be carried. The only time that he was angry with me was when I once refused to walk and wanted to be carried. When he did not do so, I insulted his mother and was given a tight slap on my face.
I remember the day when my grandfather passed away and Dad was sobbing silently while a long line of mucus emerged from his nostrils which he did not wipe away.
Once when we dropped a ping pong ball outside the window and it landed on the parapet. Without thinking, Dad jumped out of the window with his clogs on, to retrieve the ball. He landed one storey down and landed on the ground floor, dazed and only recovered sufficiently to return to the apartment miraculously unharmed.
Dad had a checkered childhood which mum never failed to share with us. He was always into some kind of trouble and was constantly punished by my stern grandfather.
Once a monk came for a visit and was having tea with Grandpa in the visitors’ hall downstairs. From the floor above, my father could see the monk’s head as he looked down through a peep hole. He found it so irresistible that he spat right on target at the bald head of the poor unsuspecting Holy One deep in conversation with Grandpa.
On another occasion, he passed by some wonderfully washed and gleaming white linens hung out in the warm sunlight. Using his water gun which he filled with black ink, he aimed at the gleaming sheets and formed his creative patterns on those canvases.

Once he took me to my night class and to his dismay and horror,discovered that the English teacher in the classroom had been his deadliest childhood enemy. Without hesitation, he bid a hasty retreat, leaving the clueless man wonder why my father took off so quickly as though some mysterious powers had driven him!
Later, my father disclosed to me that he had many combats with the man who spoke only in English, something deserving of my father’s disdain.

Dad was the eldest son by my second grandmother when the first grandmother passed away leaving two sons behind. My father began a long line of brothers and sisters after him.
One evening, my grandfather was invited to attend a birthday dinner and before he left, he reminded his errant son, my father, to keep out of trouble as he was always into some mischief or another. No sooner, had the old man left, that my father could not resist the opportunity to go out to have some fun of his own. The billiard hall was just five minutes down the road and magnetic to the hot-blooded teenager.
My grandfather happened to return early that evening because of a stomach upset and on his return, was aggrieved to know that his wayward son had disobeyed his strict order and gone into the forbidden billiard room. My father was summoned back immediately with the old man bristling with fury. He lay out the butcher knife used for cutting meat and would have chopped off my father’s two hands had not for the pleas of grandmother and his younger siblings.

I remember how devoted Dad was to his almost religious fervour for mainland China whom he called his motherland.
Every evening at six pm sharp, the noisily and poorly tuned radio would rasp and come to life with the Chinese national anthems in bursts of loud and soft sounds.
Dad would not miss a single of those broadcasts, singing praises of Chairman Mao, the steer hand that steers the great Motherland. Father was drunk by the propagandas.
When the day came for Dad to visit his village in Swatow and also to get cures for his arthritis, he was filled with hopes and exhilaration.
Yet, a month later, when he returned to Singapore, he brought home a pair of stone lions silently,without much enthusiasm to share the experience of his long-dreamt for trip.

Dad had great hopes for his two daughters as Mum had not given him a son.
He longed for the day when I could be the prestigious lawyer as he believes what boys can do, so can the girls. Alas, I did not take up that honorable profession envisioned by Dad, only to end up as a school teacher.
However, Dad was still proud of me and wished that one day I would become a school principal.

I did not fulfill even that hope of my Dad, but dearest Dad, I did become a good teacher. By the way, my daughter Sarah has just completed law school and she is now the deputy public prosecutor/ state counsel in the government chamber of law. May your soul rest in peace, Dad.

Learning as a life-long process

2011-08-01T20:07:00.000-07:00

Learning is indeed a life-long process. We cannot and should not stop learning at any stage of our life.
When we were young, we embraced learning as it prepares us to grow into maturity.
We took our first steps to learn to adjust to a new world we were born into, adapting and learning, having left the comfortable body of our mother.
We were enthralled by the sights and sounds of our new environment and as we familiarise ourselves with them, we move forward, one step at a time until we gained our independence at adulthood.
However, learning should never stop for there is much to explore and learn till the day we depart from this world.
I remember learning to cope with my studies, my emotional life, relationships, later, my career first as a teacher, then as the head of department.
I learnt to be a daughter,a sister, an aunt, a girlfriend, a wife, then a mother and the list goes on.
I pray and thank God for a curious mind and the world never fails to amaze me.
My impatience slowly gives way to more tolerance though I still find waiting irksome and impatience still my weakness. However, I learn that something is really worth waiting for. I recalled the time when I waited for motherhood and was really in despair after years of fruitless waiting. God however, has really prepared me well and what joy it was when finally first Lynn and then Sarah came along.
There were growing pains over the years but the wait for them has often reminded me how precious they have been for me.
For years too, I despair of my failure to bring up Lynn well to be God-fearing but again God never gave up on me. He teaches me to trust in Him and assures me that changes come only through Him.
Even my relationship with Hubby is growing and we both learn how to change and improve ourselves through the patience of the Lord with us.
We are not perfect yet for we are still work in progress.
The day when we finally meet the Lord will be some time in the future, though we know not when.Meanwhile, we have to continue to learn and glorify His name and trust in Him that one day His work in us will be done.

Our baby's graduation!

2011-07-30T06:21:00.000-07:00

Sarah's four years of hard work finally culminated in her final examination and she achieved her target result of second upper and managed to get into the legal system as deputy public prosecutor.
The week after she started embarking on her career saw her morose and seemingly stressed out and tense.
It could be a matter of adjustment and also her busyness in helping a friend to plan her wedding.Over time, she seemed to relax a little and we attended the commencement on Friday morning to celebrate her graduation.
The little baby who was always smiling with little hands clung to mine has blossomed into a young lady. Her chapter of schooling has completed while a new chapter of career has just begun.
In her busyness, I just pray that she continues to trust in the Lord and knows that He is sovereign and He is with us no matter what.
I remember reading in Isaiah how prosperity sometimes blinds us from the love of God as we become complacent and full of false security, relying on our own wisdom instead of on His.
As we rejoice with our baby's achievement and progress, we continue to pray that God will lead her back to a closer walk and more intimate relationship with Him. Amen.

The day at the Shenandoah National Park

2011-06-19T12:28:00.000-07:00

After the 6-day long Heat Wave and the never-ending flu, we finally realised our dream of going on the scenic roadway Skyline Drive at the Shenandoah National Park.
We left Gaithersburg to travel for two hours before we arrived at the Front Royal North Entrance Station.
After paying a yearly subscription of $30, we entered the Park roadway and before long, we were at the Shenandoah Valley Overlook and were awed by the lovely sight around and below us.The beautiful sights left indelible marks in our minds.
From there, we went on to the Dickey Ridge Visitor Centre where we picked up some maps and a Shenandoah CD to play in the car.
The beautiful straight tall trees all along the road and the beautiful scenes at the various lookout points took our breath away.
We walked along the short trails and met various like-minded people who were inspired by the beautiful sights before them.
We turned back after Skyland as it was already five pm in the evening and had to abandon our plans to visit the Dark Hollows waterfalls. On our return trip, we stopped to have another look at the various overlooks and tried hard to imprint in our minds the beautiful sights of God's creation that lay before us.
With gratefulness for God's blessing, we bid Shenandoah Valley National Park a fond farewell and pray that we would one day return to visit His wonderful gift to all of us.

Beautiful Sunday

2011-06-19T11:44:00.000-07:00

After the long day at the Shenandoah National Park yesterday, we had a good night's rest. This morning, we went for an hour's walk around the estate before returning for a simple breakfast.
We decided to go for Sunday service with our sister Soo at the nearby Church of the Redeemer.
The church was located just outside where Soo lives and next to a Muslim mosque.
We were in time for the 11am service. The congregation was quite large, made up of many African Americans as well as Americans of different races.
The special guest speaker Pastor Robert Barriger gave a wonderful sermon based on 2Chronicle about God's servant who was honourable,suffered pains and prayerful.
He then elaborated on what it meant to be honorable, using the Unknown soldiers at the Arlington Cemetery as an example of those who died unknown, yet known to God only.
The service took about an hour and was soon over.

Sick on holidays!

2011-06-08T15:18:00.000-07:00

How miserable it is to be sick on holidays!
The weather outside is so hot - everyday it is 90 degrees and above and here I am nursing a bad cold with snuff nose, teary eyes and tired bones.
I took both Chinese and English medicine to speed up the cure but it does take time.
I visited the library at Germantown with Soo Chan and Lek and got some books to read. I finished the book Spirit Bridges, a memoir written by Li Mo which chronicled her childhood in Shanghai, Hong Kong, Taipei and even Madrid during the 60s and Cambridge MA in the 70s.
I also browsed through some of Chan's Chinese books, and especially like the Taiwanese writer Chen Luo Si's autobiography about her life in Taipei, Hong Kong,America and Mainland China.I'm not sure if I want to read the book in greater detail, especially the part on her political experiences.
I also played the piano in the morning and spent the rest of the day on the Internet and reading and resting in bed.
The hymns and praises were indeed up-lifting as I listened to them on youtube- You are my hiding place, in His time and Give thanks. I also listened to some operas and other songs.I did my Bible study in the morning- finished my homework on Isaiah chapter 35 and also on 1 Samuel Chapters 13-15. These three chapters reminded us to be obedient to God and trust in Him with all our hearts.
He does not want us to be rebellious and revolt against Him.
I know that I am often guilty of disobeying the Lord and pray that He will lead me away sinning against Him.
Your way and not mine.

Here in Gaithersburg, Maryland,USA

2011-06-08T14:53:00.000-07:00

Finally, the June holidays are here and we managed to get some cheap air tickets to fly to New York.
The long flight took us a total of 23 hours to reach New York and we stayed at Verve Hotel in Long Island City which is quite convenient for us to move about.
We visted Central Park as suggested by the front desk and had some simple sandwiches for dinner.
The next morning we woke up early to take the subway to South Ferry White Hall to take the ferry to Staten Island, on the way we saw the Statue of Liberty.
We only stayed a while at Staten Island and was soon walking towards the Brooklyn Bridge entrance near City Hall station.
Many people were on that bridge that morning and we were awed by the engineering feat of those early engineers.
From there, we walked towards World Trade Centre in search of Century 21 to buy the cosmetics for Sook Ying and company.There was a madeshift memorial to exhibit the photographs of the deceased of the tragic twin tower. We stopped at the St Paul Chapel for lunch and to meditate on those who died in the senseless disaster.
After going to Century 21, we took the subway to Time Square to check on the tickets to the Broadway Show but did not find anything suitable for us.
From there, we went back to Canal St, Chinatown to get some take-away dinner and some cherries.
We also checked on the place to take the Bolt bus to go to Washington.
We arrived in Washington at about 4pm and were taken to Soo Chan's place in Gathersburg.
We went to the gardens the next day but the weather was really very hot_99 degrees fahrenheit!
We took the subway to Smithsonian and spent the day moving from Washington Monument, right up to Lincoln Memorial and finally to the Holocaust Musueum before going back to Olive Court.
Lek fell ill after that long hot walk in Washington DC and I was down with flu the next day.
We enjoyed the parks and mountains but not the weather.
We just pray for cooler days ahead so that we do not have to stay indoors so much.
Stayed indoors to read, eat and luckily, Jasmine was able to get the computer working.

2011-05-15T02:23:00.000-07:00

In Singapore, we just had our election last week and the results were rather astounding particularly for the ruling party. Even though the Party garnered the majority vote to continue as the Government, the win has been a dismal win of slightly more than 60%, causing the government to examine themselves to see what has gone wrong to have so many votes gone to the Opposition.
There have been opposing views and people have expressed their unhappiness with quite a number of issues and decisions made.

People are unhappy that they could not take out all their CPF monies at the age of 55 as legislation has been passed to hold back part of the payment first to 60, then to 62.
Another peeve is the open door policy to foreigners whom citizens have perceived as threats to their employment opportunities, education and other benefits as citizens.

Government has time and again spoken on the need to have foreign workers in Singapore for the country's economic growth but people were not convinced.
Another area in which people are unhappy is the escalating price of properties, particularly for young people who want their first home and the price of housing has gone beyond their means.

The feeling on the ground is that the government has become uncaring and has stopped heeding their needs. Many have felt that the government has taken a high-handed approach and ignore them.

The election has resulted in lots of expression of discontentment on the Internet and for once people can express their feelings more easily via the Internet without fear of repercussions. " The government cannot put all of us in jail!" was the expression. There was indeed a strong sense of liberation in this year's election.
Freedom of speech comes with responsibility, so while we welcome the chance to speak up and take a more active part in the affairs of the country, we must also heed the need to be clear-headed and not just be swayed by emotions and oppositions with their own agenda. It is important that Singaporeans need to be level-headed and think through with the interest of the country in mind.

Reminices in May

2011-05-15T01:49:00.000-07:00

Well, it is now May, five months have gone by and how has life been for me?
What have I done or achieved so far?
The first three months were spent leisurely with time to exercise in the morning, swim, qigong and brisk walking.In the afternoon, I will go to the community centre to read the Chinese papers and play the piano when I get home.
I was invited to teach Creative Writing the next term and spent some time researching on materials for the course. I taught three full classes of Primary five and two classes of mixed classes on Monday, Thursday and Friday. Those time that I do not teach, I research and prepare teaching resource to support the pupils' learning of English.
I accepted the assignment to keep myself abreast with work as well as for the remuneration. I do not go to school on Tuesday but in alternate weeks, I help out with the Evergreen group of serving the older people.On Wednesday, I do not teach but do my research and preparation of teaching resource in the morning but go to another school to teach Creative Writing for a renowned enrichment centre.
Alternate Thursday, I have cell group Bible study with some of my church members.
This year, we started on 1 Samuel and as we study the book, we try to apply the principles of the study to our life. In 1 Samuel, we learn the importance of obedience and dependence on the Lord.
On Tuesday evening, I go for Bible Study Fellowship where we learn the book of Isaiah. In this prophetic book, we learn of our God's faithful love for His people in contrast to His faithless and rebellious children. Again and again, as His children, we rebelled and were faithless, worshipping other idols rather than being faithful to Him, our loving God.
I realise that I too have been faithless and wavering, often relying on my self rather than going to Him for His guidance and teaching.Lord, thank you for your immeasuable patience and grace for my undeserving salvation. May I follow You faithfully and rely not on myself but on Your wisdom and grace.
I feel that I have not done well for this assignment because it was my own strong desire to take up the job rather than wait on You.
However, it is no use regretting my decision but continue to rely on You for these two weeks to complete the assignment.
Lord, it is difficult to totally follow You sometimes, but Lord, give me Your wisdom and patience to do so.Let me wait on You because You have assured us that "All things work for those who love You." In all that I do, let me do in Your honour and glory, Amen.
In two weeks' time, Lek and myself will be flying to US to visit Soo Chan and go on a relaxing holiday. I look forward to the holidays to relax and live peaceably in God's natural and beautiful world.

A meaningful Christmas dinner

2010-12-30T01:06:00.000-08:00

A simple Christmas dinner yet so lovingly prepared by one who loves.
It was meant for a small family- father, mother, sister, sister's boyfriend and also an aunt who lives alone.

Praise God for who she is and what she is to all of us who love her.She is the scholar who does well in all her studies. She is loved by all those who know her.She was the one who brought Mum back to church and given her the hope when she was then hopeless and in despair and without a purpose to carry on.

She comes into our family twenty-two years ago and brings so much fun and happiness to all at home. Thank God for this blessing from You.

It was just a simple dinner but will be cherished by all who partake it.

Thank you, God, for your love and showing us Your promise of abundant life.

Year End Musings

2010-12-26T19:33:00.000-08:00

It is again end of year with a sense of rounding up of a year and looking forward to a brand new year.
Looking back to my new year resolutions for 2010, I think with satisfaction that I have not done too badly. I have tried to walk more closely with the Lord by going to Him for thanksgiving and conversations with Him daily. I dedicate each day to Him to guide and lead me to teach with patience and wisdom.I attended BSF from February to November,group Bible study from January to November; I attended church retreat in June, went on a church mission to Northern Thailand and Myanmmar in September. I continue serving at Sunday school for the two-year-olds and the preparation for the Lord's Supper once a month.I thank God for the privilege to serve the Lord faithfully.My reading list has included many Christian literature that gives me a better understanding of my faith.
I continue with my daily exercises with qigong when not working, swim as regularly as I possibly can, folk dancing on Saturdays and walk as often as I can. My diet has been reasonably healthy except for the past two months with too much feasting.
Emotionally, I have strengthened my relationships with my family and friends and remember to love and empathise with others just as My Lord has commanded.
The trips to Ho Chi Minh, Nha Trang and Dalat in South Vietnam in March, Kyushu in June and the church mission trip to Northern Thailand and Myanmmar had all been enjoyable and fulfilling.
I thank God for the teaching assignments and time to read, learn and maintain a lively curiosity everyday of my life.
During the year-end vacation, I helped out with vocational bible study and spent time cleaning the house.
With great effort,I cleared away some clutters in my life, the wonderful books that I have accumulated over the years as well as the diaries that I have so faithfully kept all these years. I am trying to trim the baggages that I have gathered all these years. All those wonderful experiences have taught me much and I treasure them. There is a tinge of regret as I give up on some of the things that I love but life has to go on. It is no use clinging on to the past but to move on to embrace what the future brings.
I just want to thank God who has been with me all these years. He has indeed blessed me so abundantly, giving me good health, a fulfilling career, wonderful friends and experiences that span all these years.
For 2011, I look forward to deepen my relationship with my Lord, consolidate knowledge, insight and wisdom, learn to appreciate the ebb and flow in my life and enjoy the sense of peace and contentment. I resolve to work less and live more.
I commit 2011 to you Lord and look forward to a closer walk with You.

How to believe-Jon Spayde

2010-11-21T19:18:00.000-08:00

From his interviews with various people,Jon shares with the readers the insights he gleamed from the comments and views of people on how and what they believe.

Living a Christian life means sharp realisation that we cannot be possibly good on our own and our only chance is to surrender to God the only one who can truly transform us.Jon shares too that our spirituality changes over the course of a life time with the first half in which we concentrate on law, custom, traditions, authority and structure and gradually we imbibe and internalise the values of patience, forgiveness, perseverence into ultimately realising that we need to love God and our neighbours as His commandments and basic principles in our life.

We are urged to keep our faith simple and to share the words of Christ with the community.As we enter into a relationship with God, we turn in desperation to plead with God, " Let me seek after You today."

We can never fathom the mysteries of the virgin birth, the divinity of Jesus, His physical resurrection but though we may be lost,we continue in our quest to continue searching for Him.
As we continue with our Christian life, we ask God to work through us, to use our gifts so that we can help someone. With God's guidance, we become clearer about what we know, what we don't, what we can do and what we can't.
By faithfully following God's promptings, we continue on our jouney following his lead and direction.

As we cast our cares and fears into God's hands,we learn to accept our circumstances in a graceful and grateful manner and then gradually realise that our fears are transformed into an inner strength that is not our own.

As spiritual explorers, we grow to be intimate with God and ask Him to give us the passion to share His love with others, responding to the divine with our whole selves and not just our minds.
As we get to know our God, we accept the paradoxes that God is great but He is also a still small voice inside us; He is the creator and sustainer of galaxies, but also an intimate friend.
We are advised to avoid absolutism and relativism and to unite with all life.
By being honest with what we don't understand, we accept what and where we are, trusting that God will ultimately reveal Himself to us. We are led to question what is our greater purpose and what is greater than we are.

50 is the New Fifty-10 Life Lessons for Women in Second Adulthood

2010-11-21T00:45:00.000-08:00

Fifty is not the new forty, or even the new forty-five. Fifty is its own wonderful age-rich with possibility and promise- and only the beginning of Second Adulthood. In her new book, Suzanne Braun Levine offers ten original life lessons which incorporate fresh insights, first person accounts and interviews and practical advice on the challenges and unexpected rewards for women in the fifties- sixties and seventies. Levine captures the voices of women who are confronting change, renegotiating their relationships and discovering who they are now that they are finally grown up.

The ten lessons include "No" is not a four-letter word, on the energizing power of standing up for what you mean and what you want;" "Do unto yourself as you have been doing unto others', a new way of getting yourself to the top of your to-do list. and "Your marriage can make it", reassurance that changing your outlook doesn't automatically mean you have to leave your husband, your job or your senses!

This book is about wisdom, survival joy and camaraderie.

Be still and await on the Lord

2010-11-18T19:47:00.000-08:00

I have been praying to know if I should return to my teaching post next year.
I still have the passion to continue teaching but I must be certain of my motivation to do what I have been doing since my retirement end of 2007.
Do I really want to do what I have done for the past forty odd years? What is truly my reason for returning to it year after year?
Is it because I am unwilling to get out of my comfort zone or because of my love for the remuneration?

For the first few years, the excuse was that I was trying to help the school and the school administrators. Yet, the shortage of teachers in always there.

After the study of Judges which reminds us to be obedient to God and seek first His will before making my decisions, I have to be mindful and not make hasty commitments.
I will be still so that I will know God's will for me.Listen to that small still voice and do as He has planned for me. Afterall God's way is still the best way as the book I have read said.

Why me?

2010-07-23T20:48:00.001-07:00

A doctor looks at the book of Job- Diane M.Komp MD
Personal suffering goes to the heart of the matter- our relationship with God
“The lord gave and the lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord( Job1:21)
You shall love the Lord with all your heart, mind and soul” applies at home, at worship and on the job
Integrity helps us to move from “Why me?” to since it is me, what am I going to do about it?” Integrity is about me and how I relate to the rest of the universe.
Discern, act and share if we want to be whole persons.
Job shared his discernment-“Shall we accept good from God and not trouble?”
Persons of integrity in relationship with God and fellow beings can choose to do what is right.
Our suffering friends need companionship. A warm meal is preferable to chilly words. When we simply and silently enter into the suffering of another, we bring God along with us. Hold fast to faith and relationship with God. Through our tears like blessed Job, we can bear witness to the power of God in the world. Blessed be the name of the Lord who takes us up!

Holidays in South Vietnam

2010-04-08T23:38:00.000-07:00

After ten weeks of hard work, it is time to go on a holiday again! We flew by Tiger budget airline and the flight took one and a half hours to Ho Chi Minh City.
All the preparations and reading before the holidays stood us in good stead. We arrived in Ho Chi Minh at around 4.30pm and took the airport bus into town. We reached town in half an hour and what greeted us was a horde of motor-bicyles that whizzed by all around us. Learning to cross the road was the first thing we had to master on our arrival. Our hotel was in a busy area where lots of backpackers stay. It took us half an hour walking in a circle before we finally found the street we were looking for.
Ho Chi Minh City looks chaotic, dusty and dirty at first sight and we wondered why we had chosen this country for our hard-earned holiday.
We found our pre-booked hotel in an alley which looked dingy at the main entrance but we soon found that it was in actual fact on a quiet street away from the noisy traffic on the main roads.
There were lots of pubs, bars, tourist agencies which offer trips to the different parts of Vietnam from south to north. After a simple but delicious meal of beef noodles, we were ready to check out the the vicinity of the famous Pham Ngu Lao Street.
The next morning after a simple breakfast of baguette, eggs, coffee and bananas, we were ready to make our way around.
We walked to Cho Ben Thanh, the big market place where all kinds of stuff were put on sale. Nearby was the bus station where all services seem to ply from here.We boarded Bus 1 and soon found ourselves in Cholon, the Chinatown of HCMC.
We bought some fruits and soon decided to check on the bus interchange at Mien Tay. We found ourselves pestered by some ticket sellers who tried to sell us tickets to go to the different parts of the Mekong Delta.
We were a bit apprehensive if we could make it to the place Caibee and back in time in the evening. We were assured that there would be buses to take us back on the same day.
However, two hours later, the bus journey ended in a rather secluded place with no sight of piers or bus terminus. A woman who spoke Cantonese advised us to return to HCMC as we were in no men's land with people who speak only Vietnamese. We took the motorbke taxi, changed into a van and later from Mytho took a bus back to HCMC.
The lesson to learn here is to be better prepared and find out a little more before venturing out. Nevertheless, God has kept us safe in spite of our recklessness.
Back at the hotel, we talked to a Malaysian couple from KL.

On Day 3, we decided to check out on the sightseeing places, beginning with The Reunification Palace. We then made our way around to Notre Dame Cathedral, the General Post Office, and the HCM Museum area. We had a simple chicken rice and noodle lunch and soon found the famous wrap and roll restaurant.
We bought some to take away to the HCM Domestic airport as we had a flight to catch to go to Nha Trang.
We arrived at Nha Trang at 6pm and the sky was already pitch dark then. We were grateful that the people at Perfume Grass Inn sent a pickup to pick us up from the Airport.
The owner Mr Huan was there with his family to receive us. We went out for a little dinner and checked on transport to Dalat, our next stop. It rained heavily that evening but we managed to return to the hotel after going to the supermarket to purchase some bottles of mineral water and vodka orange.
Next morning, we had a simple breakfast, before hiring a motorbike to go to the various sightseeing places.
The hotel gave us a good map and with it, we could find the various places quite easily.
We went to the Po Nagar Cham Tower after stopping at the Hong Chong Promonitory. A University student was our voluntary guide and she spoke good English as she explained to us the significance of Po Nagar and gave us a little information of the Cham people and their religion.
After that, we went a bit off looking for the Thap Ba Mud Bath. From there, we went to look for the Long Son temple to look at the majestic white Buddha on the hill and the reclining Buddha too. A woman tried to sell us some postcards at an exorbitant price but we managed to shake her off. After a little local lunch at a coffee shop, we rode to the park where some secondary students were having a picnic. They were too shy to speak English to us even though they might have understood a little of what we said. We then went on to Vinpearl land to check on the prices to take the cable car to the island.
In spite of the little downpour, we had good fun riding the motorbike.
In the evening, we walked along the beach and had hotpot dinner at a restaurant.
The next day, we took the four island boat trip to Mieu,Munn, Mot and Tranh. We were in the same group as Federica and her brother Mike from Tasmania,Diana and Steven from Canada, and some Chinese nationals from China as well as many Vietnamese, that being Saturday.We had fun on the boat when the organisers got ready a makeshift stage to sing, dance and clown around. For the first time, I dared to get into the water together with Lek and the rest.We even had red wine at the improvised bar in the water!
Mr Huan was kind enough to help us book a hotel in a government guest house in Dalat and arranged for the open bus to take us there.
The next morning, we met a French lady who travelled on her own and had returned from Siem Reap.
The open bus took four hours before we arrived at Dalat, which is on the central highland. The day was hot while the evening was freezing cold. We could not get much information from the receptionist at Dinh two where we stayed as she knew just a little English.
Anyway, she recommended a friend who rented a motorbke to us from 1pm to 6pm.
We rode around town, negotiating some undulating plain. We took a rest at the beautiful Yersin garden. We later learnt that Yersin was the man who founded Dalat.
It was disappointing to find the famous lake all dried up and some construction work was going on.
The next day, we took a tour to some popular sightseeing places. We went to the Biet Thur Hang Nga, the famous crazy house, the Bao Dai summer palace, the Nha Tho Domain de Marie, The Cremaillere Railway Station, the Dalat flower garden, At the Robin Hills, we took the cable car to Bamboo Pagoda temple. We then went to Thac Datanla waterfall and finally to the market. We had some lunch,changed our money and went to book a flight back to HCMC as we decided not to take the arduous eight-hour bus ride back.
Dinh2 was indeed a very beautiful place and perhaps if the lake had not dried up, we could venture out a little more.
Back in HCMC after half an hour flight, we went back to the same hotel that we first stayed, cleaned ourselves up and went to the An Dong Market.
Back at Bui Vien, we had some Indian food for dinner and bought our fifth and last pomelo on this trip.
On the last day, we went to Chua Ngoc Hoang, a chinese temple by bus no.18. We also managed to visit the Ho Chi Minh City museum.
After a simple lunch at Ben Thanh Market, we returned to the hotel to pick up our luggage and took the airport bus no. 152 to go to the airport to take the flight home.
The nine-day holiday had come to an end and we had a good time planning for the holidays and looking for places.
We had a good and cheap holiday, we got to put our map reading and research skills to good use and most of all we got to meet various people on this trip, the Vietnamese and the other tourists, not forgetting the chance to ride the motorbike in both Nha Trang and Dalat.
We will return to Vietnam some day to go to Hoi An, Dalang and the beautiful Fu Quoc island, not forgetting the Chu Chi tunnel and Mekong Delta which we missed on this trip.

Reflections

2009-09-07T01:06:00.000-07:00

I was a quiet child even though I thought I feel very deeply. I remember being a lonely child as my father was often at work and Mum was usually too busy with mahjong games.
My elder brother and sister were too busy with their own affairs to have time for me. I often played with the children in my neighbourhood, but when night fell and everybody got home, I was often left alone waiting for Mum to return home from her mahjong games. How I used to hate her mahjong games which seemed like some kind of evil that took her heart and soul from me.
I know my Mum loves me, for she often sang to me and told me her sad childhood when she was not busy with her mahjong games. The bonding between us was therefore never strong. I grew up not needing her much though I know that I should provide for her.
When I visited her and dad after my marriage, I often had to sit with my bed-ridden dad while doing my own reading. Mum would be away for her mahjong games.
Was I a good daughter to my parents? Yes, I provided for them and loved both of them especially dad who had always doted on me. After Dad’s demise, I knew that I had to take care of Mum as she grew old and soon showed signs of dementia. I took her home as younger sister was in America and there was nobody else. Yet, I was often busy, with my work, my interest and my books. I just did not seem to have the time and the love for the people who should matter most to me. I realized now that perhaps I have lived a very selfish life.
I have not communicated enough with the people close to me, my dad, my mum, my elder sister and now my own children. I feel that I was indeed handicapped and unable to form deep relationships with people. I was hungry to communicate with people on a deeper level. So far, I was able to communicate on that level with only some of my friends like Beng Keow, Lai Heng and Swee Kum. Perhaps, God is trying to tell me that human relationships are imperfect just as we, mortals are imperfect and our longing can only be satisfied by His filling the vacuum in our hearts.
Well, it is pointless to regret the past for what is important is the present. With God’s guidance, I can work on my relationship with my two daughters, Lynn and Sarah as well as people who come into my life. Lord, I pray for your forgiveness in all my shortcomings. Fill me with Your love that I may love You and all the people You have sent into my life.

Answering your call- a guide for living your deepest purpose

2009-08-18T22:02:00.000-07:00

What is it in the end that induces a man to go his own way and to rise out of unconscious identity with the mass as out of a swathing mist?
It is what is commonly called vocation: An irrational factor that destines a man to emancipate himself from the herd and from its well-worn paths. Anyone with a vocation hears the voice of the inner man: He is called- Carl Jung

Only by discovering and then somehow creatively deploying, our unique combination of gifts, can we ever feel the deep satisfaction of a life well-lived.
Human creativity and lasting value is possible only when individual is determined to address some problems, advance some knowledge or serve a cause or humanity in some fashion. When they do this, they are answering a call to do something that matters. They have purpose and are out to make a difference. They choose significance over success.
What is a call? Calls are invitations from life to serve, to achieve your will towards a cause worthy of you and the human family. They are purposes with a voice, visions turned into inner commands. Calls draw the specifics of a purpose and a vision. A call is the impulse to move ahead in a meaningful way, a mind-body push into the future. Answering a call takes persistence, discipline and stamina. After the initial yes, we answer the call by creating sets and subsets of long term and short term strategies, goals and tactics. Persistence needs its polar opposite: openness and willingness to stop the current plan and go in a new direction. We need to be quiet enough, long enough, often enough to heed calls which comes to us from kairotic (a time for the spirit) time. Confronting the fear of accepting a call is the best way to move into the joys that a call brings.
Having courage and belief in the numberless tasks and routines of living a life is answering a call. We assume ordinary roles. We can make them more than ordinary when we will them to a higher level.

A calling depends not on how big the actions are that we take, it is about how much love we put into those actions. For God, it is all infinite. You do what is small and you do it with love and God will make it infinite.

Hear your inner voice and believe when the evidence is sparse. The called life is not an easier life than other kinds, only a better one. It is better because attempting to what we are meant for brings the internal joy that can come with commitments that are larger than the confines of our space- bound, time- bound existence. A commitment to a call is not a guarantee of success in the usual way the term is used as in a career, but it is a guarantee of the success of the self as it decides not to waste life energies on the multiple diversions that we all encounter. Answering a call will bring mentors into your life. It will also bring tormentors. Use the saboteur to grow more deeply committed to your calling Extract value from your saboteur encounters. Learn the signs and patterns of saboteurs. They often look respectable and have authority. They speak of positive motive to couch damages. They twist reality. They are masters of power and control. They caused pains and enjoy watching others regress. They often do good in some areas of their lives. The worst saboteur in your life is you.

Pass on the Evocateur’s gift

To live content with small means
To seek elegance rather than luxury
And refinement rather than fashion
To be worthy, not respectable and wealthy not rich
To study hard, think quietly, talk gently and frankly
To listen to the stars and birds to babes and sages with open heart
To bear all cheerfully, do all bravely
Await occasions, hurry never
In a word, to let the spiritual, unconscious and unbidden grow up through the common

Evocateurs soak up reality and tell the truth
They see what others see but they think something different
They appeal to the innate human longing to be more than we are
Both find and create teachable moments, adapt their method, work at the level of the identity.
Evocateurs acknowledge

Provoke the stifling
Calling of the provocateurs
Eliminate injustice to selves, others and future generations
Exaggerate to force attention
Hold up the mirror
Pace the aggravator
Prepare for attacks and fight bitterness with good humour
Get rest and make friends
Be prepared to accept defeat
Believe in your calling
Build portfolio of calls
Means to be conscious and do well in multiple life roles
Fight off saboteurs
Strengthen response to calling
Evoke possibilities of the moment
Provoke status quo to change
Teach the self and ego to collaborate

Work the veil
Accepting limitations and weaknesses is part of getting better my calling
Look underneath the behavior to the spirit and intention
Don’t be literal. Accept nothing at face value
Always assume something deeper is going on
Stay focused for the long term to bring a life of calling well-heeded and well-lived.

Relationships- living without regrets

2009-08-18T21:53:00.000-07:00

My relationship with my children

2009-08-09T02:20:00.000-07:00

I have longed to have my own children when I decided to get married. In fact, one of the reasons that I want to get married is to have my own children.
On reflection, it seems a rather strange reason to want to be married. As a school teacher, I have daily contacts with children.
I remember asking a colleague who was then leaving for the United States for some maternity dress patterns. I soon learnt that everything has its seasons, as the bible says in Ecclesiastes. Three years down the road, I was still childless.
I went to the genealogists to find out why I was unable to conceive. After various procedures, I was pregnant. However, the joy was short-lived as I soon found that the pregnancy was ectopic, which means, the egg has attached itself to the wall of the fallopian tube and as it grew, the fallopian tube tore and I almost lost my life in the attempt to have a child. The doctor who attended to me informed me how lucky I was to be alive as it was indeed dangerous as the tube was bleeding internally.
With God’s grace, I survived but was told by my gynecologist that my chances of having a child are down from one percent to just 0.5.
My doctor suggested that I might want to consider adopting a child but somehow God’s answer to this option was in the negative when the plan did not materialize.
The time finally came which was seven years down the road, after a prayer from a visiting pastor, I became pregnant. When I found myself pregnant, my attending doctor went on a course in the States. God seems to tell me that I have to rely solely on Him and not on men.
Lynn was born soon and brought much joy to the family. Alas, my faith proved to be too fragile. My lack of gratitude brought me lots of pain.
Just when I hesitated to give up all that I had, God graciously gave me another child. This child Sarah has indeed come from God to mend the relationship between her parents.
Sarah has indeed been given by God. She is the one who leads me back to the church to confess my sins and once again go back to Him in repentance.
Sarah and Lynn both gave us lots of joy and also lots of heartaches as they grow in independence and waywardness as well. Not being a strict disciplinarian and not being good Christian parents, we have not guided them well other than providing them with physical needs and an education.
Praise be to God, they have grown up pretty well and with God’s mercy and blessing, we learnt to pray for wisdom and directions. With love, I learn to respect them and in turn they show their respect too. Of course, there were moments when we lose our temper with each other but I soon learnt to apologise and ask for forgiveness. Lynn has also reciprocated with gentler behavior.
As for Sarah, she has worked very hard to achieve academic success. She has obtained good results in her studies and has gone over to UK on student exchange.
Praise the Lord for His love and guidance. With Him, we have no fear or worries as we know that all things work for the good of those who love Him.

My love for reading

2009-08-09T02:17:00.000-07:00

My interest for reading began when I often spent my time at a neighbour’s place. The family had a lot of movie magazines and various Chinese comics that the family shared. Later on, I had access to the library of a friend’s brother who too had a large collection of Chinese essays, comics, fables and other reading materials.
My love for English books actually began when I had to do Literature in secondary school. I remember having to study Shakespeare’s Merchant of Venice and some anthology of poems at Secondary one.
Over the next few years, we studied Shakespeare’s plays, the most memorable of which was Macbeth. After I left secondary school, I continued my reading, particularly when I had access to my uncles’ collection of English Literature books. At Teachers’ Training College, we had to study some literature texts and some lecturers really shared their love of the classics with us.
After I started on my career, I continued to pursue various courses to improve my level of English competency. The Diploma English Studies Course required us to study various classics that included Shakespeare, Dickens, Austen etc. The A level English course too further fired my enthusiasm and interest.
Open University English and Literature required even more in depth reading of such texts.
A visit to Western Europe aroused my thirst for Greek Mythology and to know more about the great influence the Greek Culture had on the western world.
The years of reading had given me a new found interest and quest for new knowledge and I truly appreciate this opportunity to live life richly as I enter the world through the legacy of writing left behind by those who share their experiences.

The third age – six principles of growth and renewal after 40 – by William Sadler

2009-08-09T02:13:00.000-07:00

Principle One
Balance mindful -reflection with risk taking
Step back to review, listen and visualize how you want to live
Clarify values, reflect on meaning and purpose to critique the old scripts
Find challenges and clarify expectations
Be open to creative tension and develop competencies needed
Commit to intended results

#2 Develop realistic optimism
Have a sense of humour and take charge to make choice to achieve.

#3 Create a positive third age identity
a) Listen to inner energy and identify barriers to expression
b) Leave behind and modify roles and life patterns
c) Critically assess and discard age stereotypes to break myths of aging
d) Recognize and accept mortality and affirm growth and renewal
Affirm independence and connectedness to others and a larger reality
Redefine success and develop standards to measure it

#4 Re-define our work- balance work and play
Recover a sense of meaningful work and play
Determine priorities and clarify what you love to do by following basic instincts
Enlarge scope of work to include paid work, fun work, housework, volunteer work and learning
Risk doing something new and add new values to life

#5 Balance personal freedom and intimacy
Intimate interdependence
The bond of love can liberate people and promote individuality

#6Build a more caring life
Increase our capacity to care
Care for self, care for optimal physical health
Step into more purposeful living
Create balance among multiple commitments
Shed old assumptions, expand our limits
Think creatively and live differently
Invitation of a lifetime for new growth, enrichment and purposeful living
First age- growing up
Second age – Productivity setting in
Third Age- second growth
4th age- successful aging
To counter aging, we must do more than adapt, keep fit and stay healthy. We need to initiate growth at a new level.

Seven habits of effective people- Stephen Covey

2009-06-09T00:07:00.000-07:00

Paradigms and Principles
Paradigms are model, theory and perception, assumption and frame of reference

The seven habits are principle-centred, character-based, an inside out approach to personal and interpersonal effectiveness.

Maturity Continuum ranges from dependence to independence to interdependence.

Habit One
Proactive rather than reactive
Changes based on imagination, conscience, self-awareness and independent will. Between stimulus and response, there should be the freedom to choose.

Habit two
Begin with the end in mind
Mental creation based on imagination
Begin each day with values firmly in mind- truly proactive and value driven
Use affirmation and visualization to enter into harmony with our basic centre.

Habit three
Put first things first- principle of personal management and use priorities and time management matrix.

Habit four
Think win win
Principle of interpersonal leadership
Abundance mentality
Effective interaction brings mutually beneficial results to everybody involved

Habit five
Seek first to understand, then to be understood
Principle of empathic communication
Build skills of empathic listening based on character that inspires openness and trust

Habit six
Synergy
Principle of creative cooperation
The whole is greater that the sum of its parts
Essence of synergy
Value differences, respect them and build on strengths and compensate for weakness

Habit seven
Sharpen the saw
Principle of balanced self renewal
Four dimensions – physical, mental, spiritual and social and emotional

Seneca on the shortness of life

2009-06-09T00:06:00.000-07:00

It is not that we have a short time to live but that we waste a lot of it.
Learning how to live takes a whole life, just as we take a whole life to learn how to die too.Procrastination is the biggest waste of life.
In planning tomorrow, we lost today.
Present is short, future is doubtful and the past is certain. Life is short and anxious for those who forget the past, neglect the present and fear the future. Prosperity does not elevate the sage and adversity does not depress him. In any situation in life, you will find delight, relaxation and pleasures if you are prepared to make light of your troubles and not let them distress you. Make a stand against Fortune and never give ground to her.
In everything, everybody, eyes and hands and all things that make life dear, live as though it were lent to itself, return the loan on demand, without complaint. Make light of all things and endure them with tolerance. It is more civilized to make fun of life than to bewail it. Mingle and vary solitude and joining a crowd.

The freedom years- tactical tips for the trailblazer generation- Michael Shea

2009-06-09T00:00:00.001-07:00

Use our freedom years to best advantage
Benefiting both ourselves and those around us

What are our hopes and aspirations for the years ahead?
What are we particularly looking forward to?
What hindrances do we expect to waylay our plans?
What other worries lurk in the undergrowth?

Retirement is an open gate to the future. We have the opportunity of moving into new fields at a pace to suit ourselves and develop new skills and use old ones.

What do want to achieve that we have not achieved so far.
List our options and strategies for doing so. Set out an agenda for change,deciding where and how we are going to erect our new stall. Continue to contribute to the good of ourselves, our families and society, just as we did in the past.
Readjust circumstances to our requirements

Have a positive attitude
Care and not be in denial
Make it our business
Have ambition
Have an open mind
Have control over our lives
Recreate our sense of self-esteem

Continue to act as decision-takers rather than followers of orders
Don’t let those wrinkles invade mind and soul
Do not be too judgemental or mean.
Have a good sense of humour
Try laughing- have a smile, a happy expression
Build new relationships and continue to network by joining clubs and interest groups
Keep healthy with proper food and exercise
Be fit and mentally agile
Communicate effectively with the younger generations
Manage our money and financial advisors
Use freedom years to learn new tricks

Work on projects to give sense of meaning and purpose to life
Keep learning and exploring ways to make life better for self and others

Embracing the fullness of life- In the moment

2009-06-08T23:59:00.000-07:00

Celebration of Life’s daily moments
Both the small and large events of life lend value and texture to our lives.
If we don’t put effort into celebrating these moments, they can be lost and the very texture of living goes with them.

We should integrate all elements of our life and connect within outside and ourselves, across the generation preceding us and into the future. The function of celebration is to do all this and in doing so, to help us create our own legacy and legacy of our time.

How can we use our resources to strengthen our connections with others rather than insulate ourselves from the challenge of closeness?
We can overcome inner obstacles and choose to bring that richness into our lives and the lives of those around us, then the celebrated life is without our grasp.

What are the elements of celebrations
Recognise the moment
Name the moment
Share the moment
Open ourselves and bring ourselves forth most fully into a thoughtful and sensory awareness of the moment
Acknowledge mystery and awe
Move backward to the origin and regrind and polish to remove or repair flaws and blind spots.

Trip to Hanoi, Halong Bay and Sapa

2009-03-28T06:34:00.000-07:00

After working for eight weeks, it was great to go on holidays again. This time, hubby and myself booked budget air tickets to go to North Vietnam.
It was indeed a relaxing holiday after that eight weeks of hard work. We spent a total of eight full days not including the night we arrived and the morning we left for the air port.
We were completely satisfied with the hotel, which though small was clean and comfortable.Taking tours from the hotel was not advised by those seasoned travellers on the Internet. However, it turned out to be the right decision as we were satisfied with the tours to Halong Bay and Sapa.
There was ample chance to meet up with fellow travellers to exchange our experiences with one another. Particularly, it was interesting to befriend a French couple from Lyon,an English couple from England besides more acquaintances from other countries such as Australia, Germany and America.
The view at Halong Bay was exhilarating, especially the wonderful staclactites and staglamites at Surprise Cave and the calming effect of the Bay in the light drizzle.
We did a lot of walking at Sapa but the view of the highlands and terraces were inspiring.The overnight train from Hanoi to Lao Cai or old street was a memorable experience.The return journey seemed less smooth as the train felt as though its carriages were about to disintegrate completely!Memorable too was the happiness expressed by the Canadian sixty- two year old man who had come to Vietnam to meet his sweet heart whom he intended to marry soon. May the Lord bless their marriage.
The trip had been most educational too as we learnt more about the Vietnamese people who were ruled first by the Chinese then by the French.To gain her independence the country had gone through the long Vietnamese war.
Vietnam is still in the process of modernisation. Her people have to work very hard to survive and tourism is one avenue for the people to get out of the poverty cycle.
The water puppet at Hanoi was entertaining and the Vietnamese cuisine was comparable to the food that we eat at home.
The Vietnamese hotel staff pandering to the Westerners seemed disgusting at first till we put ourselves in their shoe and understand their reason for doing so. Once we adjusted our thinking, we were less judgemental and more loving towards these gentle Vietnamese who seek to delight their customers.
All in all, it has been a most wonderful holiday. The Hmong guide at Sapa is one of those whom I will not forget for her perseverance to learn English and enterprisingly looking forward to a better life for herself and her family. She is filled with hope for the future and I know that she will be successful with her perseverance and hard work.

Spiritual growth in the age of anxiety- Scott Peck

2009-01-05T23:14:00.000-08:00

How can we live a rich and fulfilling life in a world fraught with stress and anxiety?
The greatest challenge is to learn how to deal with life's conflicts, problem and paradoxes to find true simplicity on the other side of complexity.
we need to be more aware both within ourselves and within society.
It is crucial that we learn to think with integrity, know the difference between good and evil and overcome narcissism to love and be loved as well as to live with paradox and accept consequences of our action and come to terms with dying and death.

We continue to learn and grow with the ultimate goal of perfecting our soul. It is only through the death of old ways that we make room for the birth of new ones.We see learning as an adventure and the stages of dying as important to the process of unlearning and new learning.

The redemption of Odysseus-Patrick Fitzhugh

2009-01-05T23:02:00.000-08:00

The writer recalled how his father tried to read the story of Odysseus to him and his brothers.
Just as Odysseus, he was fighting against the unfair odds the world threw at him and doing his best to emerge with honour and family in tact. At that point of time however,the writer thought that Odysseus' weakness was his great ego and therefore he dismissed everything as hyperbole.His own trip to Italy brought him face to face with what the Mediterranean really is and not the picturesque calmness portrayed in travel books or as seen from above.
He realised what his father was trying to do in sharing the story of Odysseus.His father was trying to prepare him and his brother for the trials and hardships they would face one day. In his first-hand experience with the Mediterranean seen at close quarters, Odysseus had been redeemed and he understood what Odysseus and his own father had gone through in search for respite from their daily battle with life.

Simple steps-10 things to create an exceptional life

2009-01-02T00:03:00.001-08:00

Choose the right attitude
Tap your inner momentum
Transform your life with kindness
Welcome stillness in your life
Settle with the past and move on
Banish prejudice from your life
Take risk to a brighter future
Connect with a higher power
Put discipline on your side
Heed the call to leadership

Quotes:
Kindness is the golden chain by which society is bound- Goethe
He that does good to another does good also to himself- Seneca
Never stop thanking
Put other people first
Pass grace along
Be your own person-get in touch with yourself and with God
Do good for no good reason

Your bridge to a better future

2009-01-01T23:48:00.000-08:00

Progress in life is not measured by security but by growth. Growth means taking risks as we will never get anywhere interesting by always doing the safe thing.
"You can't stay in the harbour and discover new worlds at the same time."

Life is a journey, a process. Everyday, we must deliberately make the effort to take a few steps, learn, grow and become better than we are today. The secret of our future is hidden in our daily routine.

There are three choices that we can make with things that bother us.
We can deal with it, get over it or learn to live with it.
When making choices, we must never lose sight of the big picture.If we can't see the forest for the trees, we will almost certain to get lost.

Some notable quotes:
Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood.- Marie Curie

The best medicine is to stop thinking about yourself and start thinking about other people.- Frederic Loomis

I must lose myself in action lest I wither in despair.- Alfred Lord Tennyson

I had the blues because I had no shoes, until upon the street I met a man who had no feet.- Harold Abbot

Talk to a man about himself and he will listen for hours- Benjamin Disaeli

When good men die, their goodness does not perish but lives though they are gone- Euripides

Year End Reflections

2008-12-30T22:35:00.000-08:00

As the year draws near to a close, it is time to ponder and reflect.It was only 365 days ago that I reflected on 2007 and made my New Year resolutions for 2008.
2008 has been a year of much happenings in terms of financial tsunamis, terrorist attacks and all the other unhappy events that made life difficult for many.
However, it is through difficult times that we sobre down and take account of our lives to seive out what is important and what is not.
I am fortunate to be comfortable in my financial circumstances, thanks be to God who watches over me.
It has been a year of commitments as well as constant reflections.Part time job takes up quite a large chunk of my time everyday but it is a matter of time as measured against remuneration.
Physically, I have time for qigong, swim, brisk walks and folk-dancing.Mentally, I have time to stimulate my brains with Sudoku, reading and writing.
Spiritually, I have my Daily Bread and teaching from His Word, as well as Bible Study Fellowship.
Emotionally, I have my family and friends to sustain me.
I have got to travel too to see the beautiful mountains, lakes, valleys created by the Almighty.
I have learnt to welcome stillness, enjoying everything that life has to offer.I delight in the simple joys of food, music, books and companionship, as well the moments of being alone. God has taught me to live in the present and appreciate all things around me.
His Word has so much wisdom in it that I wish all can gain from the lessons that He has so patiently set down to teach us.
Visiting church members, the elderly at home and in hospital has taught me the importance of patience and forbearance.God has given me the time and love to share the love that He has for us.
Soon it will be 2009.It will be another year of learning. God never fails if we only wait with patience and humility. May the new year give me the hunger for His Word and the wisdom to do His work and share His love and blessings with others.

How to make the rest of your life the best of your life- Henry Legler

2008-12-28T22:26:00.000-08:00

To make the rest of our life the best of our life, we are advised to cultivate a positive fundamental attitude.

'We must so plan our pattern of life that the golden period lies ahead'- a quote from Lin Yutang .

According to the writer, retirement is not a bed of roses, in fact, it is hell on earth often beset with boredom, disillusionment, frustration and often a devastating blow to our ego. Therefore it is critical that monumental preparations be made to make the rest of our life the best of our life.
Most essential is that we have our financial considerations taken care of. We should be mentally prepared to let go and psychologically prepared to start life all over.
Most people envisage retirement life one of bliss and leisure with time to do absolutely nothing but we are reminded to keep active by the followiing quotes:

'Thank God when you get up in the morning that you have something to do'- James Russell Lowell.

'Action may not always bring happiness but there is no happiness without action'- Benjamin Disrael.
The question to ask is " Am I content to drift along from day to day without any real purpose to life?"

"Am I making a sincere effort to keep busy doing something I really like to do?"
" Do I wake up in the morning eagerly anticipating some tasks or activities that I have planned for the day?" "Is tomorrow just another day?"

Voltaire says, " Shun idleness, It is a rust that attaches itself to the most brilliant metals."

The writer advises that it is important to being enthusiatic and that the cure for worries and anxieties lies in the power of prayers, the logic of rationalisation and the habit of postive thinking.

Dean William R. Inge advises that we must adapt ourselves to changing circumstance and to keep busy, interested and alert.

Dale Carnegie remarks that the world is filled with interesting things to do. We can take up full time or part time job, start a small business, engage in hobbies, community service, travel, research,study, reading, games and sports.
W. Benam Wolfe advises us that to find happiness, we must seek for it in a focus outside ourselves.
Victor Hugo shares that he has winter on his head but spring in his heart.

Retirement needs not be hell on earth if only we have a positive attitude and do things that will benefit ourselves and others. Life is exciting if we continue without fears and anxieties as life after retirement is an adventure that we all take in another phase of our exciting life.

Jesus-Life Coach by Laurie Beth Jones

2008-12-28T22:06:00.000-08:00

Chapter One entitled "Have Your Tent Stolen" uses the metaphor of a tent to show how our view is often limited when we are too comfortable and complacent in our life.Our limited perspective as well as fragile and segmented understanding keep us from seeing the universe. It is only when the tent is taken away that our eyes are open to new ways of relating, seeing and doing. So instead of focusing on the stolen tent, we should focus on the sudden expanding view of the universe.
Chapter two encourages us to practise planned abandonment. We are to understand what to pick up and what to put down, letting lesser things go in order to choose the higher part.
Subsequent chapters remind us to keep our focus and learn to use the sword, cutting away what is holding us back- false beliefs, distracting assignments and unhealthy relationships.
To redefine reality, we have to be willing to make major changes to our script. To know where we are going, we must identify our source of light. In order to be healed ,we must be willing to move forward with heart and mind. It is only through finding the centre, that we achieve the balance in our life.

first year life after retirement

2008-12-18T23:10:00.000-08:00

The years of toil has finally come to an end. No more long meetings and hours at work.Finally, there is time to do what I like to do.
It has been an agonising decision to retire after forty odd years at the same job. After much debate with myself, I wrote in and got my golden handshake.
The sudden break from hard work to a leisurely life takes some getting use to.
I went back to work the first few days to cover somebody on study leave.
After that, I took up relief work whenever staff went on medical leave.This went on intermittenly for the first two months. In March,we took a holiday to Macau, Zhuhai and Guangzhou. It was a cheap and leisurely holiday in China. Term two found me doing standby relief after which I was persuaded to take over a teaching class in Term 3.Of course I will have to follow the class through to Term 4 as the children had examination at the end of the year.I taught English and was in school from 11 to 5pm everyday from Monday to Friday. However, I did get to do my Chinese qigong in the morning and swam two to three times a week before I went to school.
I signed myself up for Bible Study Fellowship and was committed to do my homework every morning and attended evening class from 7 to 9pm on Tuesdays.
I did folk-dancing on Saturday afternoon and visited the library after spending one to two hours dancing.
In August, we left for a free and easy trip to Hokkaido and it was a good trip for us. In November, we joined two couples to drive in the south island of New Zealand. The scenery was astounding and it was great to go for a holiday while others have to attend meetings and write year-end reports.
I managed to write my journal quite consistently and did quite a fair bit of self-reflections periodically over this whole year. I have also managed to do some visitations in the first six months and reviewed some Christian literature for my church. I had time to meet up with my childhood friends and we had quite a number of sessions together.
The year has been well-spent over various activities. I had time to interact socially with my friends, exercised quite regularly, spent time reading, writing and doing Sudoku and part time work. There is a balance of physical,mental and other activities. On looking back, I have spent quite a lot of time working as well.
What of 2009? I intend to listen to the Lord more intently and obey His commission for me. I will spend time cooking for the family and look into improving my culinary skills. Cooking for the family involves love and care for them.
Praise the Lord for His Wisdom in teaching me so patiently. May what I do be pleasing in His sight.

My journey to My Father

2008-12-15T22:58:00.000-08:00

I remember my childhood, full of fears and nightmares.There was always this sense of foreboding and insecurity.
Dad was always busy at work and mum too to escape from a boring existence by going to mahjong.My childhood was one of dark and empty tenement house where I was too frightened to go to sleep before my parents' return.
I remembered burning joss-sticks at the site where the house spirit would take care of the tenement house in front of the long staircase which led up from the main entrance.
The picture of Jesus Christ on the cross hung on the wall in the tiny living room. It was given to my dad by one of his father's family friends.At the age of five or six,I remember dreaming a frightfully long dreamless dream in which I walked aimlessly with no end in sight. Even at that tender age, I seemed to realise that life can be meaningless and purposeless.One night however, I had a vision. I could see the bright light in front of me and I knew that I was in front of holiness when I felt myself moved by great compassions and strong feelings.
My first experience with Jesus were the hymns that I heard every Sunday coming from the Kindergarten next door which functioned as a church premise on Sundays. Our curiosity was aroused too when our neighbours went for Christmas worships at the nearby association.
Secondary school friends shared the gospels and colleagues warm-heartedly took me to their church.
I started attending church seriously but without strong commitment, I soon returned to a carefree life.I somehow believed that God is with me even though I do not commit myself to Him.
I got married and could not have a child even though husband and myself tried so hard to have one. Finally seven years later, God bless us with a daughter and showed me how much He has loved and cared for me.However, I soon prove untrue and again slipped from my faith.Life without God was one uphill task and I found myself slipping down quickly, horribly and irrevocably. God however, never gave up on me. He stretched out His hand again and again. Finally before I drifted out completely to the open sea,I made a decision to return to Him. Since then I have hung on with His grace and He has shown that He has much to teach me, guide me and lead me. I have learnt much and know that there is much more to learn. God has been faithful and merciful towards me and it is time for me to trust and obey Him.

Leaving a legacy

2008-12-15T22:38:00.000-08:00

It has been my wish to gather my thoughts to write down my life experiences, learning etc as we mortals cannot live forever.
At sixty, it is time to do some harvesting and consolidate my experience and learning to leave behind for someone who may gain from my writing.
I have lived a rich life for God has been most merciful to me and taught me much in my sixty years on this earth.
I learn to love when I have my parents who love me so unconditionally and completely in my early childhood. Though they have not spoken in so many words, I know that for my sake my swinging bachelor dad chose my mum and settled down to a quiet life and my mum reconsidered leaving my dad when she couldn't bear to leave me with unkind relatives.
God has also mercifully given me the love for reading and music. Both hobbies have enriched my otherwise mundane life.Beautiful music moves me, encourages me and makes me love the beautiful world that God has created. Books have taught me in every aspect of my life from young to old. The classics have given me vicarious experiences which I might otherwise not have in my limited life experiences.
It is however time now to consolidate all those learning experiences and hopefully pass them on to others so that they too will benefit from reading them.

Happy New Year

2008-01-13T20:27:00.000-08:00

I have this habit of reviewing my life at the end of each year and looking forward with hope,aspirations and new endeavours for the new year.
On 1st January of 2007, I wrote down the eight principles that I hope to live by.
1. I will have a positve attitude towards all events and happenings.
2. I will live life day by day with gratitude in my heart.
3. I will be an uplifting force whenever I can and I will encourage others around me.
4. I will welcome stillness and learn to be more relaxed.
5. I will risk being vulnerable by being open and approachable.
6. I will connect with God and learn to walk more closely with Him through reading of Christian literature.
7. I will live in the present at all times and be alive, consciously aware of the people around me.
8. I will pass Grace along, to share His blessings with those around me.
Though I may have made numerous mistakes, I must say that 2007 has been a great year.
There is much to thank for- blessings from Him and time for learning to live better.
2008 is going to be another great year. I will continue to live by those eight principles but most of all I resolve to walk closely with the Lord,trust and obey Him and live without regrets.

6 big career mistakes and how to avoid them

2007-12-17T00:27:00.000-08:00

This article written by Donna Brown Hogarty came from the Readers' Digest in 1999.
In it, she listed the following most common mistakes made at the workplace.
1. Having no plan- She suggested that before we go into any workplace encounter that could turn angry, we should prepare an agenda and stick to it.
2. Lacking expectations- She suggested that we should understand our employer's charter by asking relevant questions
3. Being a loner- it is important to work on relationships with colleagues in and outside our department.
4. Waffling- instead of waffling on decisions, it is essential to focus on the relevant elements.
5. Focusing too narrowly- it is essential to cultivate the ability to develop and adapt by learning a variety of widely applicable skills.
6. Covering up- instead of doing that, it is important to admit the blunder and fix it as soon as possible.

Looking Back

2007-12-11T23:01:00.000-08:00

December 26 was the date reflected on the cover of my first diary and the reminder that I placed there was 'Procrastination is the thief of time'.
My very first entry was new year day and the last entry was 10th May four years on, which happened to be Vesak Day.
I recorded the wonderful time that I had with my friends, the ups and downs, the happy and the sad.
I was then twenty years of age, third year into my teaching career. The diary recorded my relationships with my friends and colleagues. Awakened was my longing for romance and love.

My twenty-first birthday was celebrated at a government bungalow in Labrador off Pasir Panjang, surrounded by my family, good friends and colleagues.I realised that I was deeply and hopelessly in love after all the infatuations. However, it was doomed from the start as the object of my affection had promised to marry somebody else.
The following year was a year of tremendous heartaches but I promised myself to be emotionally strong and let time help me to recover from that doomed relationship.
Three years on, my present husband who was also my colleague dated me to a show, Tora, Tora, Tora, a Japanese war film.What a romantic fellow!
My second diary began on 13th May and covered the next seven and a half years.
I was engaged at a party again at the same bungalow at Labrador Park. That eventful day saw my father storming out of my engagement, thinking that my fiance was just not good enough for me, his beloved daughter.
My best friend Susan gave birth to a pair of twin girls the year after and gradually all my good friends settled down to begin another phase of their lives.
I too settled down and it was a year of adjustment to a new phase of married life, mundane and uneventful for most of the time.
Restless me joined Friends of the Library, a group of people who love to read and exchange ideas.
Two years later, we moved from a cosy two-room flat to a spacious four-room one.
My ectopic pregnancy almost ended my life but I guess God has other plans for me. I have not learnt enough yet. The near death experience taught me to appreciate the simple things in life and the sight of sunrise at Mount Faber was indeed exhilarating that year.Christmas Eve had me baptised at Faith Methodist Church.
The next diary covered one year of my life and the book was coming apart as the pages were not well-bound.It was a year of calmness as I dedicated myself to be obedient to the Lord.
For forty days, I was sponsored by the Girl Guides Association to go to Japan on a Youth Fellowship programme. That was a recognition trip for the work that I had done to promote youth activities as a Brownie guider as well as the Chairman of Friends of the Library.I had not expected any rewards for the enjoyable and meaningful work that I did but God always has His ways.
The next diary covered the next six years of my life.
Finally,Doctor Tsakok confirmed that I was pregnant! Lynn was born in January, bringing so much joy to the family after the long wait.It was on the second December that Lynn was badly scalded before she even turned two. Hubby was indeed stricken by regrets and guilt over the accident.
Two years later and we found ourselves in Western Europe, enjoying Rome, Florence, Venice, Vienna, Innsbruck, Selzburg, Copenhagen, Cologne, Odense, Rotterdam, Amsterdam, Kinderdyke, Paris, Versailles, England and Scotland.It sparked my interest in the Greek mythology and Roman history. I went on some English Proficiency courses and did both O and A levels English, scoring distinctions, B for Literature and A for GP.
Over one year of part time and six months of full time , I completed the course for the Diploma in English Studies.I enjoyed the Literature course and scored second upper in the examinations. That is also the year when I was transferred to serve in a prestigious school.
The next diary began in September in which I called out for the Lord to take away that despair that I felt.
My Dad's death was most painful.Entry for that year end was filled with bleakness and pain. However, confirmation of my second pregnancy with Sarah at the end of that year brought once again hope to me.
Sarah was the child born in April and she was that gift from God and my beloved Dad sent to give me hope once again.
Sister Soo who left for US returned to get married.
Our trip up to Cameron Highlands began a long friendship among the members of four families that last till today.
Sister came home to visit us with her new born child Jasmine just as Mum became senile and her condition worsened over the next three years till her demise. We took a trip to the States to visit Sister and her family as well as a good friend in Canada.
The last entry on 23 September reflected my realisation that I had turned forty eight and I gave thanks to the Lord for His goodness to me.

The next diary began on 20 November and ended 28 October ten years on.
Ms L, my principal passed away on 22nd December and as I attended the wake and the funeral,I found the colleagues who used to fawn on her and later left her nowhere in sight.
I assumed the Head of Department post, working under Ms K and the following year Mr L.
Four months of full- time leadership course inspired me to take up Open University to pursue my love for learning. I soon returned to church. A good friend who went up to Cameron Highlands with us passed away suddenly, while news of the demise of my good friend in Canada followed by my sister-in-law's saddened me.
I began to have strong feelings to retire.
2003 brought the SARS and 2004 Tsunami when so many innocent people died so suddenly. A bubbly colleague's succumb to liver cancer made me question what life is all about. Life is indeed fragile and unpredictable.
My hundred year old grandma too passed on, fortunately after she was reunited with the Lord. Hubby's sudden chest pain in the night scared us as we thought it might be a heart attack. Fortunately it was not.
Last year had me step down from Head of Department work and after having completed my six years of Open University, I had more time to exercise and read for pleasure and self development.
I was persuaded to continue working and put retirement on hold. However, a church friend's timely reminder to honour my promise to serve the Lord and Hubby's freak and near death accident convinced me that 2007 should be my last year working for the secular world. It is time to begin a new chapter when I can serve the Lord and others full time.

Serving with love

2007-12-06T05:17:00.000-08:00

My church friend, Audrey has invited me to join her to take up this meaningful task of visitations.
We visited a church friend Sylvia who lived quite a distance from where we live. Silvia lives with her mum and her teenaged daughter.On the day of the visit,Silvia was on leave from her hotel job. She was happy to see us and shared with us her challenge as a mother to a teenager.It strikes a similar chord in us as we too have the same bewildering feeling of having our children who go through similar difficult time. Her own mother is already in her eighties and has been been most helpful to Sylvia who has been a widow since her daughter was eighteen months of age.
It must have been hard on both women to fend for themselves all these years.
The beginning of this meaningful endeavour was accompanied by heavy downpours, to make it most memorable for me.
Audrey and myself spent some time interacting with each other later that afternoon.
Today, I joined another group to visit some other members of the church.We started our visit to an old lady who is almost ninety years of age. She still looks hearty and healthy in spite of her age. Then we visited another member who lives with her two sons and a maid as her husband had passed away some years ago. She herself had gone through some difficult time after an operation.
After lunch, we visited an ex-pastor's mum in a hospital.The thin but sprightly old lady of ninety odd years old was happy to see us. I felt good feeding her a soft pear and giving her a light massage.
May the Lord continue to lead and guide me to be His worthy servant.

Giving yourself to others

2007-11-26T01:41:00.000-08:00

The final choice to retire is for me to have time instead of more money.
I have enough money to live comfortably but not in extravagance.I hope to have time to serve the Lord and let Him use me to glorify His name.
Being kind to my Chinese national colleagues who hailed from China has won me good friends.
Kindness goes both ways.It is indeed more blessed to give than to receive. In giving my time to others, I have gained friendship and the sense of purposefulness.
Yesterday, I visited a young colleague who has settled down and given birth to a baby boy. I also managed to visit my good friend who is recuperating from an operation.By showing my concern for her, I hope to help to lift her spirit as she has recently undergone quite a difficult time.
Today, I called another colleague whose baby was hospitalised for urinary tract infection.Praise God for His calling.

Retirement

2007-11-18T04:12:00.000-08:00

It was the close of a chapter when I went up on stage to receive the bouquet of flowers. It was a pleasant surprise as well when the children went on stage to present me a stalk of flower each. I was indeed touched by this show of support and love.It took me great effort to remain composed and not break into tears.
My teaching career has spanned forty long years and I do wish that I have done better, in terms of connecting better with those whom I have taught.Nevertheless, with my retirement from teaching will mean the beginning of a new chapter of my life.
I will need to exercise conscientiously to keep healthy and to live my life more meaningfully and purposefully.
I have committed myself to do visitations in my church and the other project I hope to take up is to write a booklet on why people become Christians. Hopefully, this project will glorify the Lord and inspire others to seek Him.
With more time, I hope to care more for others and share with them the love of our God.

Take comfort

2007-10-14T22:46:00.000-07:00

A very good friend is feeling down as all kinds of misfortunes happen to her. Her husband has alzheimer disease and is placed in an institution, her mother has a stroke and she herself has two breasts removed because of cancer. Her daughter is divorced and has since moved to the States. Soon my friend will have to go for an operation to remove her ovaries, uterus etc to prevent the spread of cancer to those places.
No wonder she does not want to answer phone calls from friends and is reluctant to meet up with us, her old friends of many years.
How do we offer comfort to people like her who seem to suffer one misfortune after another?
Now, I understand why God leads me to read the Book of Job and related books based on the theme of sufferings. Why do man have to suffer?
The book 'Take comfort' -Encouraging words from second Corinthians by Bob Russell was what I found at the Church Library.
In the first chapter 'Comfort-able living', I read that the two greatest human needs met by God are forgiveness and comfort. Everyone is a sinner and needs God's peace. Suffering is a normal part of every Christian life, just as sin is. 'The sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives.' (2 Corinthians 1:5 )
The Bible teaches us from the very beginning that suffering is a natural part of every life lived in this contaminated world.
'Man is born to trouble as surely as sparks fly upward.'( Job 5:7)

Stress- Paul Fitzpatrick

2007-09-23T01:02:00.000-07:00

Are frayed nerves the main concern of the 21st Century?
According to the newspaper article, about 10 000 Japanese died of 'karoshi', which means sudden death triggered by physical or psychological symptoms of work each year.
Some of the causes of stress at work include the inability to cope with the quantity of work, role or goal ambiguity, role conflict, lack of autonomy or control, where job exceeds intellectual capacity or where work does not stretch the person's capacity.
Some suggestions on how we can cope with stress include the following:
Have good time management, have a balanced diet, strike a balanced and sound attitude to life, accept personal responsibilities for setbacks, have time to relax, have regular exercise, avoid short-term stimulants and adopt preventive measures to reduce potential causes of stress.

Living a meaningful life

2007-09-09T18:01:00.000-07:00

I have been reading quite a lot on Retirement lately and just borrowed a book 'Age Smart' which promises to help us to discover the fountain of youth at midlife and beyond.
The book is divided into different parts. Part 1 deals with issues of the body- exercise and diet.
Part 2 deals with our mind- taking care of our brain, staying curious, and to practise optimism.
Part 3 deals with the importance of our soul- nurturing it and the importance of socialsing and having a purpose in life.
Part 4 deals with money and our job.
The book is comprehensive as it deals with the various important aspects of life that we are most concerned with.

Looking forward

2007-09-08T05:09:00.000-07:00

At the end of this year, I will retire from my teaching career.
I'm looking forward to a new chapter of my life, having worked as a teacher for forty years.
At the same time, I'm also not without apprehension as I will be 'jobless' soon
The books at the library have been most useful as I read on how I can better prepare myself for this new phase of my life.
There will be time to relax and do all the things that I have dreamt of doing.There will be time to serve the Lord, study the Bible, exercise and pursue my interests.
I hope to be a blessing to others and spend time serving God and my fellow beings.
I will be doing quite a bit of travelling with my husband. I will visit my sister who lives in North America as well as visit a friend who resides there.
I will also go to Europe to re-visit the places that I have visited some twenty five years ago.

life is great!

2007-09-07T20:37:00.000-07:00

Life is wonderful and great if we know how to be grateful.
Life for me has been wonderful and I just want to give thanks to all that I have been blessed with.
Praise God for making me a part of this great world.
Praise God for a wonderful family with a caring and loving husband and two wonderful daughters.
Praise God for good health
Praise God for a meaningful career
Praise God for all that He has given to me.